What is Peer Bullying? Symptoms and Effects in Children

Peer bullying occurs when a child or teenager is subjected to intentional, repetitive negative behaviors involving a power imbalance by individuals or groups in their own age bracket. With increasing reports worldwide of youth facing peer violence, it is vital for families to recognize this situation early. By observing sudden changes in your child's behavior and intervening at the right time, you can safeguard their mental health.

In Brief:

• Bullying can occur through physical, verbal, relational, or digital (cyber) means.
• Refusing to go to school, stomach aches, and sudden withdrawal are the most common signs.
• Unlike an ordinary peer conflict, bullying involves intent and a power imbalance.
• Cases without early intervention can lead to a permanent loss of self-confidence and anxiety disorders.
• Listening to the child without blaming them and establishing professional cooperation with the school administration are essential.

What is Peer Bullying?

Peer bullying is a series of intentionally harmful and continuously repeated aggressive behaviors seen among school-aged children and adolescents. The fundamental characteristic that distinguishes this from an ordinary argument or a momentary fight is the presence of a distinct power imbalance between the parties. The person bullying might be physically stronger, more popular in social status, or part of a larger group.

Bullying actions are examined in four main categories. Physical bullying involves direct bodily contact such as pushing, hitting, tripping, and damaging belongings. Verbal bullying includes teasing, name-calling, threatening, and constant insulting through criticism. Relational bullying manifests as intentionally excluding the child from games, spreading false rumors about them, and socially isolating them. Cyberbullying, which has entered our lives with the advancement of technology in recent years, is experienced through sharing humiliating photos on social media, creating exclusionary message groups, and sending threatening messages from anonymous accounts. Regardless of the type, these actions deeply shake the child's sense of trust and cause them to perceive the school environment as a threat area.

Causes and Risk Factors

A wide variety of psychological, familial, and environmental factors lie behind a child exhibiting bullying behaviors or being chosen as a victim. Many children who bully witness violence in their home environment or grow up with overly authoritarian, punitive, or conversely, neglectful parenting attitudes that do not set boundaries. An underdeveloped sense of empathy, the need to project their own internal anger or feelings of inadequacy onto others, and the desire to be included in a popular group at school are the main reasons pushing these children toward aggression.

In terms of risk factors, there are certain groups with a higher probability of being bullied. Generally, children who are introverted, quiet, physically weaker, or possess characteristics different from their peers are targeted. For instance, children who wear glasses, speak with a different accent, struggle with weight issues, experience speech disorders like stuttering, or have learning difficulties are victimized more frequently. Additionally, children who have recently transferred schools, have not yet formed a social circle, or have weak self-defense and boundary-setting skills due to being raised by overly protective families are also at great risk. Understanding these dynamics is the first important step in getting to the root of the problem.

What Are the Signs of Peer Bullying?

Many children tend to hide the violence they experience from their families due to fear, shame, helplessness, or the anxiety of being labeled a "snitch" by their friends. Therefore, parents who worry "my child is being bullied" must correctly read some hidden signs. Symptoms of peer bullying emerge in various ways, including physical, emotional, and academic changes.

Physical signs include unexplained bruises, scratches, torn school uniforms, and constantly lost or broken personal items (glasses, pencil cases, phones). Furthermore, severe stomach aches, nausea, and headaches that start especially on Sunday evenings or school mornings, with no underlying medical reason, are the most frequently encountered psychosomatic reactions. On an emotional and behavioral level, the child's sudden withdrawal, reluctance to leave their room, and loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities are striking. Signs such as being afraid to get on the school bus, returning from school much hungrier than usual or needing to use the bathroom urgently (because they do not find the school toilets or cafeteria safe), sudden outbursts of anger, unprovoked violence towards siblings, disrupted sleep patterns, and nightmares are strong indicators of bullying.

How Can Families Notice and Evaluate the Situation?

When you notice these unusual changes in your child's behavior, your first step should be to listen to them without judgment or interrogation. Phrases like "Why did you let them walk all over you?" or "You should have hit back" cause the child to feel guilty and completely cut off communication. Instead, you should ask open-ended and reassuring questions like, "I feel like something at school has been upsetting you lately, would you like to tell me about it?" or "What was your least favorite moment at school today?"

After noticing the situation at home, you must immediately contact the school administration and counseling service to have the process officially recorded and learn about the observations at school. During the medical and psychological evaluation phase, specialist child psychiatrists step in. In evaluations conducted in a hospital setting, clinical interviews are held to understand the child's mental state, and depending on the age group, drawing analysis or standardized anxiety and depression scales are used. In this way, the depth of the trauma caused by bullying in the child is clinically measured, and the most accurate intervention plan is shaped.

Psychological Support and Treatment Process in Children

The recovery process of a bullied child requires a multidisciplinary approach involving cooperation between the family, school, and hospital. The psychological support process for children is built on erasing the traces of the trauma experienced, rebuilding the child's damaged self-confidence, and developing coping skills.

For younger age groups (especially under 12), play therapy is one of the most effective methods. Even if the child cannot fully express their feelings in words, they reenact the victimization they experienced at school through toys in the therapy room and process this trauma in a safe environment accompanied by a therapist. For adolescents, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) methods stand out. In these therapies, the teenager is taught how to set boundaries against bullying behaviors, how to say "no," how to regulate their emotions, and healthy communication methods. At the same time, support mechanisms at home are strengthened with parent counseling sessions where the family is also included in the process. Although the treatment process varies according to the child's needs, it can generally span from a few months to a year; the main goal during this time is for the child to feel safe again.

Psychological Effects and Risk Groups

Peer violence paves the way for serious psychological complications that are not limited to the moment it occurs but extend into adulthood if left unaddressed. Chronic stress develops in a child who constantly feels under threat. In the long term, this situation can lead to the emergence of psychiatric conditions such as major depression, generalized anxiety disorder, social phobia, school refusal, and eating disorders. Bullying experienced especially during adolescence negatively affects identity development. For more detailed information on this topic, you can also review our article titled Symptoms of Depression and Anxiety Disorder in Adolescence: A Family Guide.

When evaluated in terms of risk groups, not only the victimized child but also the child who bullies is at great risk for future antisocial personality disorders, substance abuse, and a tendency toward crime. Furthermore, children who silently witness bullying (bystanders) also experience intense anxiety fueled by feelings of guilt, helplessness, and the fear that "my turn is next." Therefore, bullying is a serious mental health issue that poisons the entire school climate and must be addressed from multiple angles.

When to See a Doctor

When the symptoms of bullying your child experiences begin to disrupt their daily functioning, seeking professional help should absolutely not be delayed. If you observe any of the following warning signs, you should consult a child and adolescent psychiatrist without wasting time:

• The child talking about self-harm or thoughts of death, such as "I wish I had never been born" or "I want to disappear."
• Severe loss of appetite leading to significant weight loss and chronic insomnia lasting for weeks.
• Categorically refusing to go to school and having crying spells when the word "school" is mentioned.
• Noticing self-inflicted cuts, scratches, or scars on their body.
• Withdrawal escalating to the point of completely cutting off communication, even with the closest family members.

If your child talks about a suicide plan, has actively harmed themselves, or has been subjected to life-threatening violence resulting in serious physical injuries, you should immediately call 112 or go to the emergency room of the nearest hospital without losing time.

The Process at BHT CLINIC İstanbul Tema Hastanesi

To protect your child's mental health and ensure they safely overcome the traumas caused by bullying, we stand by your side at BHT CLINIC İstanbul Tema Hastanesi. In our Child Psychiatry department, the mental development of babies, children, and adolescents aged 0-18 is meticulously monitored by our specialist physicians.

For our families applying with the suspicion of bullying victimization, a comprehensive psychiatric evaluation is first conducted. If needed, a personalized treatment plan specific to your child is created, accompanied by play therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, and necessary intelligence or developmental tests. Additionally, our hospital's 24/7 emergency service is always ready to help with crisis situations and sudden traumatic events. We are ready to support your child with our expert staff so they can feel happy and safe again in their school and social life. To start the process and plan a detailed evaluation, you can book an appointment through our website.

Frequently Asked Questions

How can I find out from the school if my child is being bullied?

By establishing regular communication with the school's counseling service and class teacher, you can get information about your child's situation during recess, their friendships, and class participation. Teachers' observations can reveal signs of social isolation that go unnoticed at home.

What should families do in case of cyberbullying?

First, you should listen to your child without blaming them and save screenshots of threatening or insulting messages and photos as evidence. You should block the relevant accounts, share the situation with the school administration, and take legal action if necessary.

How should I act if my child says they are the bully?

Punishing your child harshly means trying to solve violence with violence and only magnifies the problem. Instead, you must seek professional support from a child psychiatrist to understand the anger, jealousy, or need for approval underlying this behavior.

How long does the psychological support process take?

The process varies depending on the depth of the trauma the child has experienced, their age, and the family's compliance with the treatment. Although significant improvements are usually seen within a few months, acquiring permanent coping skills can take up to a year.

Is it right to tell a bullied child "you hit them back"?

It is absolutely wrong. This approach legitimizes violence, causes the child to fall into a guilty position regarding school rules, and increases the risk of them suffering greater physical harm. Instead of violence, it is necessary to teach the child to set boundaries and ask for help from authorized adults.

This article is for informational purposes only; please consult your physician for diagnosis and treatment.